Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Bush Uncertainty Principle

Watching all the discussion about the TSA, I think it's time to suggest a new natural law for political discussions: The Bush Uncertainty Principle.

The principle states that whether or not a proposed law or act of government is just or unjust, extreme or reasonable, cannot be known if the political party or political identity of whoever is proposing it is also not known.

So, if you don't know whether the decision to mandate body scans and full-body searches in airports was proposed by a liberal Democrat or a conservative Republican, you also can't know whether it's a just or unjust decision. However, if you know it was proposed by someone from the opposite political part of you then you know it's unjust. And if they're of your political party, you know it's just.

On the flipside, if you know it's just, you also know it's a decision by someone from your political party. And if unjust, from the opposite party.

So there you have it. The Bush Uncertainty Principle. Later, I'll teach about how you can tell if underage groping or sex was a horrible crime or merely amusing. It involves a complex calculation that factors in whether the underage person was a boy or a girl, whether the molester was a man or a woman, and whether the molester was a priest, teacher, filmmaker or unknown.

This is also called the Bush Uncertainty Principle, but for unrelated reasons.


Codgitator (Cadgertator) said...

Only slightly off topic, actually: what's your opinion of Dennis Miller (versions 1.0 and 2.0)?

Crude said...

Difficult question. What's the difference between 1.0 and 2.0? I haven't heard Miller stuff in a while, though I recall liking his humor. Witty, fast-paced. Supposedly he got a bit more conservative as time went on, which was a surprise since - you know, entertainment.

Codgitator (Cadgertator) said...

The difference is basically just that: more conservative, less liberal (though I think he always was a libertarian with conservative instincts and simply had liberal conditioning). He's all over Fox and a lot of people think he "sold out," which I think as thick as a screed from JT in his more wired moments. I still think he's one of the best comics in many recent years. I brought it up partially because I know you have a taste for stand-up and partly because of how Miller has probably been on both sides of your BUP.

Crude said...

I've heard people claim that Miller was always somewhat conservative, but it only became more apparent after a certain point. Drew Carey is another one who was more libertarian/conservative, and it at least somewhat showed up in his act. Even Kinison was a bit conservative, at least in a very twisted way. Norm Macdonald, pretty conservative.

Actually, maybe that's it. It seems like you can get away with that sort of view and language more in standup, maybe because there you're doing a comedy circuit (you're hitting this and this and this club) and really, if someone has a problem with your act you can either alter it at one place and the continue on, or tell them off and just do another club or stage instead. Whereas if you're on TV, unless you're in a Chappelle-like situation, you're in large part doing what you're told. (There's that story about Saturday Night Live having Conspiracy Theory Rock removed from all future reruns on the grounds that it 'wasn't funny'. Hard to buy, since if that was enough to get you scrubbed from SNL they wouldn't have much in reruns.) And when you think about Miller, if I remember right - and I could be wrong - he didn't start getting noticed as more conservative until after he was out of SNL and doing standup again.

So yeah, I think the 'sold out' line is unlikely. I mean, hey, let's say Rush Limbaugh sold out too - he was just a DJ at the start, you know, so I guess the whole conservative thing is just some act on his part too and he's really a liberal putting on an act. And Ellen Degeneres? Totally loves men. But her career needed a boost then so she had to sell out, and LGTSA was paying highest at the time.

Crude said...

Actually, I should also say... the BUP is something I've mostly noticed out of individuals, rather than celebs. Remember when the Patriot act was horrible? Terrible? An utter violation of our civil rights? There was a time when you couldn't go two weeks without that being brought up and it being one more reason we have to get rid of Bush.

But now, suddenly... you don't hear about that. You don't hear cries of outrage about the democrats renewing it when it was up for vote in congress. And the same guys who were utterly furious about this sort of thing when Bush did it are keeping mum on the TSA thing. And I bet you anything if we went up bombing Iran, you will have self-described liberals screaming about how important it is (And also this is Bush's fault somehow), etc.

What I really find funny about the war stuff is this idea that 'conservatives were for it, liberals were against it'. Yeah, the Clintons were regular doves. And no one remembers that guys like Buchanan, etc were so up in arms against those wars (in Buchanan's case, even the first Iraq war) that he and others went to start The American Conservative and go third party in near outrage.