"You know, I've run into a lot of small town folks, and those idiots don't realize that they already approve of socialism. Like, they help each other out - they help their neighbors, they give a lot of money and time to the poor in their neighborhood, they share their food, all that. But then they're like, NOT MUH AMERICA OBUMMER. I think these people would really come around to socialism if people told them, like, 'Socialism is what you're doing already, but for the person the next state over.'"
They forgot to add, "Oh and also, if you don't cooperate we'll shoot you or throw you in prison. And we decide who you help, you can't determine on your own who you think should be helped. Leave that to us, thanks. Also, keep your Christianity out of it altogether, because this is a secular, government project."
Mostly, though, I was amazed that they didn't once stop to think that maybe they had radically misunderstood the small-town values they'd grown to hate. No, clearly people who give to charity just don't realize that they're already socialists.