As anyone who's seen my antics over at What's Wrong With the World can tell you, I don't always get along with fellow social conservatives. Part of that is just due to my personality and the way I communicate - I'm aware that I can snap pretty easily at times, that I can focus on technicalities that irritate people, and that when I feel insulted I tend to escalate rather than blow things off. I'm not exactly pleasant - a revelation that surprises no one.
But aside from that, I catch a fair amount of shit because I'm highly critical of how social conservatives handle themselves when it comes to the topic of gay marriage and homosexuality in general. I also get some unique responses out of liberals because I ditch what I see as party-line criticisms of LGBT topics - this pussyfooting around the real issues, both in a moral and a secular sense. The short version is, everyone's afraid to talk about actual sex - the fact that the central problem with "gay relationships" is not the love, the hand-holding, or even these illustrated feelings of tenderness, but the abuse of sex and the malfunction of sexual interest.
I could see part of the problem, on the part of conservatives, is a general habit of avoiding vulgar talk - and really, there's no way to both clearly talk about sex and sexual desire without being vulgar. Not if you want to actually address the topic at hand, and trying to use talk of 'sodomy' in its place not only largely misses the point, but it's archaic-sounding besides to most ears. But I think a larger worry is one that crosses the liberal/conservative divide - people are uncomfortable talking about sex, period, in anything approaching a direct fashion. Especially - and this is key - once psychology starts getting wrapped up in it all. It's too broadly personal, it pulls people out of their comfort zone. Even obnoxious extreme-end liberals who love talking in broad senses about their polyamorous relationships and pansexual gender preferences will usually drop to a deer-in-headlights stare when you ask start asking questions about specific acts and mentalities. "So what should we think about someone who really craves a long, thick cock being jammed into their ass by a person they keep calling "daddy"?" will turn a lot of self-described hedonists into Church Ladies if it's coming from anything approaching a critic. I do not think these issues are restricted to liberals.
It's understandable, on a personal level, why people wouldn't want to talk about this. Un-fucking-fortunately, sex acts happen to be the central issue of contention in every topic from basic sexual morality to theological and metaphysical moral teaching to gay marriage to otherwise. If you remove the sex and the sexual desire, there is nothing - nada, nyet - wrong with a 'homosexual relationship'. Subtract that, and you're talking friendship, even deep friendship. The sex is everything, and that means we have to talk about it.
And if we don't? Then we subject ourselves to decades of vague discussions about "gay marriage" (when, really, it doesn't goddamn matter if two heterosexual men get married - THAT is an abuse of marriage too, even if they never have sex with each other), or "same-sex relationships" and "the gay lifestyle", as if the problems at hand is an unusual affinity for rainbows or a condemnation of two men living together and not getting married. Oops, too late - we already walked that route, and it's a large part of the reason why we're on the ropes.
Which is why I demand being blunt about sex, and why I regard a conservative fatwa against vulgarity on this topic - against reasoned vulgarity - to be not only short-sighted, but literally suicidal in the culture war. We cannot keep dressing this topic up and layering over it with code words meant to not scare off the most rabbit-like of church ladies. We have to face what the real problems are, what we are actually condemning. Otherwise we're going to repeatedly get sandbagged by people who portray us as 'being against love', as if 'love' were the problem with a cock ramming into the ass or down the throat.