Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Hey Millenials, you're a pack of stupid whores and jerkoffs! Sincerely, the Democratic Party

Really, could you have made more tasteless, pandering, accidentally insulting ads than these?

I suppose we can always try.

"So you're an easy whore. Cool! But you know what's not cool? The prospect of an airhead like you having a child. Luckily there's Obamacare, so you can keep on spreading your legs without producing yet another likely criminal for us to incarcerate. Thanks Obamacare!"

"Dude, okay, she's not hot. But any port in a storm, am I right? Make sure you don't get anchored to that landwhale - Obamacare makes double-bagging it cheaper than ever, so you can make sure the beer goggles are on secure before you nail her. Thanks Obamacare!"

"You're a sexually active gay/bi male with standards typical of the hardcore LGBT subculture. That means you're probably going to catch diseases - a LOT of them. But with Obamacare, you can continue to do unspeakable things in the shadowy parts of a truckstop, secure in the knowledge that your cocktail of antibiotic medications will be partly covered by the state. Thanks Obamacare!"

"You're off on your honeymoon from your lesbian wedding. Congratulations! Statistically, you and your new life-partner are probably morbidly obese. But while you're thinking about how to work an entire honey-glazed ham into a mutual sex act, don't worry about the eventual triple bypass you're probably going to need - so long as Uncle Sam can foot the bill, he's one member of the patriarchy you'll have no problem with. Thanks Obamacare!"

I'm only being slightly more blunt than the actual ads. I also love that 'independent woman' is now code-word for 'easy lay', and the misinformation that condoms protect wholly against STDs. (Not to mention the 'common sense' bit, as if anyone who the ads would be effective on would have much of that.)

8 comments:

Syllabus said...

I literally just saw these today, and thought, "naaaah, they couldn't be this idiotically overt." But turns out I was wrong.

Crude said...

It took a moment for me to accept it too. But nope, this is how far the standards have sunk.

This isn't even about the plan itself per se, but what this sort of advertising says about everyone involved.

BenYachov said...

The sick thing i you would expect this sort of Ad in NATIONAL LAMPOON or MAD or CRACKED.

But they are F-ing serious!!!!!!!!!!

So that is what younger adults are to them. Brain dead Epicureans.

The OFlynn was right! We have created a generation of Techno Serfs. Idiots smart enough to use Y-FY & iPads but too stupid for anything else.

Easy too control.

These are dark times.

malcolmthecynic said...

Thanks, I'm dying of laughter right now. and I'm not sure if it's more from your post or that original ridiculous ad. It looks like a parody.

James said...

The title alone of your post is priceless. Thank you for a couple minutes of nonstop laughter !

Cale B.T. said...

The URL for one of the ads at the Washington Post is:

"http://www.washingtontimes.com/multimedia/image/slutty-2jpg/"

James said...

Things have gotten to a point where I honestly don't feel that I'm being outrageously melodramatic when I say, "I don't want to live on this planet anymore."

Crude said...

Yeah, this is just obnoxious. Hopefully millenials actually feel insulted by being addressed this way by their own government.

And great find, Cale. Seems damn apt.