Saturday, August 23, 2014

Can a catholic oppose marriage?

A hypothetical thought.

Man X and woman Y have plans to be married. Obviously, they're in a sexual relationship.

They have no plans of having any children, despite both being capable of having children.

Is it acceptable to advise them not to be married, regardless of their sexual relationship?

9 comments:

darrenl said...

If they are intending on perpetually frustrating the marital act in its procreative sense, then yes, I think any Catholic should bring up that perhaps they are not ready for marriage as understood by the Church.

Marriage is the total giving of one self to another, including the the self that can give children.

Graham Esposito said...

I don't think the controversy would be in the catholic to advise against getting married. In fact, I think if someone wasn't interested in the sacrament as it's defined, I think the catholic would be obliged to say "Don't take the sacrament." I think the outrage would be a catholic saying "You can get married, just not at this church. You can stay not married as well, you just can't take communion at this church."

It's not enough that people have all options available on a proximal basis. Everyone ELSE must validate everything, everywhere.

malcolmthecynic said...

The case is interesting when we regard St. Paul's very clear instructions to marry if burning with lust (and I always interpreted it as "two people lusting for each other", as in this circumstance).

BUT:

The whole point behind St. Paul's advice was that the couple could have sex without doing anything morally objectionable; indeed, sex within marriage is actually a moral duty!

But this couple is NOT planning to get married so that they could have morally legitimate sex. They are planning to continue having immoral sex (in this case, sex not open to procreation) even AFTER marriage.

In such a case, to get married would be to engage in a perversion of the sacrament, and the right thing to do would be to tell the couple the Church's teachings on marriage and sex, and hope that they repent. But one should, in this case, advise strongly AGAINST marriage, in my opinion.

Craig said...

In an only slightly better universe, the thing to do would be to encourage the couple to enter marriage preparation, in the confident expectation that they would thus find out the elements of Catholic marriage. With a bit of luck (if luck you call it), they might even decide to accept that understanding of marriage as their own.

In many situations, that would be the right thing to do even in our less-ideal world. I'd tend to consider it the default, in fact, thus disagreeing with the other comments. In this abstract example, you at least know that they want to get married in church: placing value on that may not tell you much, but it's not nothing.

In a real-world case, you'd presumably know more about the specifics and be better able to make a decision.

cl said...

Why wouldn't it be? Didn't Paul say it was better not to marry but that we could basically go either way??

Crude said...

Hey, I'm just asking. I rarely see anyone do it.

malcolmthecynic said...

In many situations, that would be the right thing to do even in our less-ideal world. I'd tend to consider it the default, in fact, thus disagreeing with the other comments.

You don't disagree. Here's me:

"In such a case, to get married would be to engage in a perversion of the sacrament, and the right thing to do would be to tell the couple the Church's teachings on marriage and sex, and hope that they repent."

When I say that one should advise strongly against marriage, I meant until/unless they repented.

Craig said...

Malcolm, fair enough. My focus is on coming to understand the truth rather than repentance; which tactic works better is probably dependent on the individual case.

GoldRush Apple said...

These are the type of scenarios that make the sacrament of marriage, let alone the concept of secular marriage, pointless. If it's mostly about "my feelings" and orgasms then that relationship is stuck in a juvenile stage. Might as well get a vasectomy and the tubes tied while they're at it.