So we can all agree that what happened with Bruce Jenner is a secular version of Transubstantiation, right?
I mean, he was - is - clearly a guy. Genetically, physically - on pretty much any 'objective' measure we have, we were/are dealing with an entirely, thoroughly male specimen.
But then, something happened. He went from Bruce to Caitlyn, and now he's not just 'Caitlyn', but a woman. He is, literally, female. Or so the story goes.
So we can, I suppose, admit that this is a case of secular transubstantiation. Right?
See, I know that the bread and wine becomes body and blood. I've heard before, that's bullshit because... well, look at it. Run a DNA test on it. Still bread. Still wine. And that, skeptics told me, was proof positive that the entire thing was, in fact, bread and wine after the fact.
Now, of course, I believe it's no longer bread and wine. But I believe that because it's what God said, what the Church teaches, and - by the way - it's also a goddamn miracle. That last part is key. See, if there was no miracle involved, if it was all symbolic, then there'd be no change to speak of. No real one, anyway. 'Yep, that's still bread, still wine. Just, you know, we're going to pretend otherwise for now. Ceremonial reasons.'
And you need a miracle to make that change.
So, may I ask where the miracle took place with Bruce Jenner?
Was it when he said 'I am a woman now'? Did that do the trick, switching him on the spot from male to female? If tomorrow he says 'I'm male again', will he become male at that point?
Maybe it's a bit more quantum-physical than that. Like, when Bruce says 'I'm a female now', then boom - all of the sudden history itself is reordered in some kind of retrocausal way, making not just the current Bruce, but all of Bruce's history into a female one.
I've got so many more questions. If Bruce says that he's a duck tomorrow, is he a duck? Can he suddenly turn black? Hispanic? Can he become a unicorn?
Someone, please, inform me of just how this magic works - or, lacking that, the holy book where God Almighty (or some cheap practical equivalent) described the miracle of Bruce Jenner.
Because a miracle is what's needed.